How has this "One Simple Change" gone for me?

So, the month is almost over. I've made a concerted effort to find something for which I am grateful every day. Some days I've missed. Some days I have more than 3. It's not a rigid thing, where I HAVE to find EXACTLY three things, but I really try.

How has it worked? I'm happier. My life hasn't changed dramatically, my daughter is still a threenager, my house is still pretty cluttered, I'm still lax on my exercise, and I still grumble to my fiancée from time to time. But overall, I'm happier. This month has helped me to really see the good things I do have, and not focus on the negatives.

The fact that I have a messy house? Means I own a big, beautiful house. The fact that it takes me forever to actually get together with my best friend? Means I am blessed with a patient/tolerant best friend! The fact that my fiancée and I grumble at each other? Means I am with someone who loves me enough to handle my grumblings and to grumble back as necessary. The fact that my daughter is a pain in the tush sometimes? Means I have grown a smart, independent little girl who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go for it.

I'll still work on my gratitudes, because that's the point of OSC, to maintain the changes, but I wanted to give a "wrap up" of the month. My last gratitude for the month of May is for the community who inspires me to be the best, healthiest, and most authentic person I can be. For the people who introduced me to the idea of One Simple Change.

What about June? What simple change are you adding to your repertoire? I'm already drinking more water, flooding my body with 17 different fruits and vegetables, and seeing things to be grateful for in every day. June is all about moving my body, with intention, every day. Whether it's working out, taking a walk in the sunshine, or dancing with my kids to the Nields, I will be intentionally moving my body every day. (And no...moving from bed to the couch doesn't count!)

EveryBODY is beautiful

Check out this video before you continue. Go ahead, I'll wait...

Now, go get a tissue. Because if you're anything like me, you've got at least one tear in your eye.

Next, think of a word YOU would use to describe your body. Is it positive? Or negative?

I choose strong. Because no matter what is going on in my life, or how I feel about my body, it has always been strong. Even when my muscles were weakened by months of chemotherapy, my body was still strong enough to carry on and fight the cancer and fight the side effects.

I'm not disgusting, gross, or lumpy. I am strong, soft, and flexible. We need to rethink our narratives. How we see ourselves is how our children will learn to see themselves. We need to learn to see the positives, even if we only start small. Because when you look in the mirror and actively look for things you're happy about, you start thinking less about things you don't like, and the more frequently you do it, the more good things you'll see.

Try it. Because you're beautiful.

My story

When I first started this new journey, one of my “tasks” was to find my story. I wanted this change, and deliberated on it for MONTHS, but why did I want it? Why did I need the change? So now I’m sharing it. I

In 2006 I was diagnosed with bone cancer. I was told that, because my chemotherapy was going to be some of the most intense drugs out there, there was a good chance I would have to take “breaks” to let my body recover, which may allow the cancer to return. I would have to be hospitalized, and would need blood transfusions and have to take months away from my job.



Yes...I ate salads from a large mixing bowl.
"Salad Bowls" make me laugh!

After doing research, my partner and I both went onto a whole foods, plant-based diet. I ate salads out of mixing bowls for dinner. Breakfast was a smoothie fit for 3. I was eating 10 or more servings of organic fruits and vegetables a day, when I could eat.

At the end of the chemo, my doctors were amazed. Even though I felt like hell towards the end, I had made it through some of the roughest chemotherapies known to womankind, without taking a break. Without a blood transfusion. With only minor complications, and no (known) lasting side effects. Within 2 months, I was back on my feet, back to work, and healthier than I was before the chemo. That summer, I spent almost every weekend hiking and biking and running. Things I could never enjoy before. I attributed that to the weight loss—chemo was the blessing (in disguise).

But then stress got in the way, and my diet got worse. Vegetables were left to rot in my refrigerator while I grabbed packaged convenience foods, my health got worse, my depression increased, my energy levels tanked, I was dealing with depression, fatigue, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and so on. I was sick and tired. All the time. I attributed all of this, as well as my weight gain, to stress and being a new mom.

Eventually, I came to the realization that my diet was crap. Everyone knows they need to eat more fruits and veggies, but we just see it as too hard to change the status quo. That is where my blog began. And I changed my diet…somewhat. I began making sure I was eating 4-6 servings of vegetables a day. And maybe a fruit here or there. But those changes only got me so far, and I stalled. My body was better, but I was still tired. I was still sick.

Then I saw one of my dear friends start talking about how much she had changed her health and her life with nutrition. By flooding her body with the nutrients and antioxidants that only organic whole fruits and vegetables can provide. She talked about how she had been able to lessen the food battles with her kids—which is a big one for me, as my child gets older and is starting to get “picky” about the fruits and veggies she will eat. So I asked questions. I asked A LOT of questions. And eventually, I got over my apprehension and decided to add Juice Plus to my daily routines.

Seriously...a rainbow a day keeps the doctor away!

I’m working on other aspects of my life and nutrition, but Juice Plus is so easy, and has really helped. It was the catalyst for this change. And the support from my friends, both old and new, has been a catalyst for changes in my attitude and vision. I honestly regret that I didn’t start sooner. It has already started changing my body and my emotional well being, and soon will be helping me financially. I try not to use this blog to “plug” my product, but if anyone is interested in learning more, please email me at kkearney.jp@gmail.com. This isn’t some “cure-all” panacea. It just makes sense. It helps your body heal itself and work properly by providing the most bio-available antioxidants and essential nutrients from a huge variety of fruits and vegetables.

5/11-5/12

1) I'm grateful for spring thunderstorms and the clean awesome air that accompanies them.

2) I'm grateful for the green grass that comes after a seemingly endless winter. Sure, it's growing faster than I can mow, but it's still green and awesome.

3) I'm grateful for the weird lawn-vaccuum-mower we just bought. Our yard is too small and hilly for a conventional mower, and the weed eaters we had been using took forever and left the yard looking like I'd given it a bad haircut. This new contraption is really just a weed eater with a "deck" attachment keeping it at the same height and taking the weight off my arms. It basically works like the most awkward vacuum you've ever used, but it's still 100x easier and way faster than what we had been doing.

1a) I'm glad that I am able to recognize the little voice in my head for what it is. The voice that tells me I'm not good enough, that I don't deserve something, that I should be embarrassed, or that someone's "tone" means they don't like me. That voice is just my self consciousness and is not logical. It's still there, and it still affects me. It still causes me anxiety. But I can talk myself out of the negative place, and usually really turn my attitude around fairly quickly.

2a) I love my house. It isn't in the best neighborhood, and it needs a lot of work. But it keeps us warm, safe, dry, entertained, and comfortable. It's even cute. I like working on it and making it better, and I'll be sad when it is time to sell. I may complain about all the issues with it, but it's a good little house.

3a) I love my little Gooberstink cat. He and his litter mates were born under someone's porch, when several weeks later the homeowner saw mama cat died in the road. She posted the kittens to craigslist, but pulled the ad after a rescue group told her they were only about 5 weeks old. She had already offered me one kitten, but told me what the rescue group said. I took him anyway, because I've nursed plenty of animals before. And now, because he has been with me for so long, he is the sweetest a**hole kitty you've ever met. Not once has he ever intentionally scratched the kids or the dogs. And only once has he unintentionally scratched the kids. Sure, he may be obnoxious and try to stick his anus in my face, but that's just cuz he's a cat. It's his sign of affection lol.

Mother's day

Ok, I have several things to be grateful for today. Some are mothers day related, some are not.

1) My mom. I mean, I'm grateful for all of my family, but today I'm just talking about my mom. She had it rough for a long time when my dad was working 5 hours away and living there 5 days a week. For 15-20 some years (I don't even know how long lol) she was a single parent 5 days a week. Dad was the fun one, she had to be the "bad guy" a lot of the time, which I am sure wore on her. But she's also the one who sewed costumes and prom dresses. She was the booboo kisser, the one who made us chicken soup (with extra noodles) if we were sick, the one who actually got a little drunk with me on a college wine tour (I'm pretty sure she was the one who suggested buying a bottle of wine to share on the bus? She at least agreed to it!) When I was a teen, we had a nightly ritual where I made her tea after my sisters went to bed. And if I spend the night there on a cold evening, I've still done it. She loves her grand babies like no tomorrow, and they love her to the moon and back.

2) The fact that my daughter can sit at the same dining room table, eating the same entemanns chocolate covered donuts, dunking them into milk in the same small glasses that I did when I was little, with my grandma. And being able to talk to her about things I knew about my great grandmas. Great grandmas are pretty cool.

3) That my dog loves everyone and everything. Seriously. It is so much easier to go to my appointments and on weekend trips when I know he is perfectly happy and safe, and whomever is watching him is also perfectly happy to have him because he is such a good boy. And I'm grateful that I have a few people who love him and will help us out when necessary. But he's still a huge snuggle bug and mama's boy when u get there to pick him up.

I didn't do my gratitude journal

And this weekend has been so great, that I don't care.

1) the kids got to see the ghostbusters' firehouse, complete with real fire truck going out on a call.

2) I was told, by my surgical oncologist, that "you are looking great, what are you doing differently?" And "really, you don't need to be coming anymore, but protocol says 10 years, so I will see you one more time...and then never again!"

3) we had a pretty awesome time at Sesame Place, because we were privileged enough to be able to get season passes.

4) I was able to march up the stairs to the water slides with the kids over and over and over again, without getting exhausted.

5) after walking 10-15 miles on Friday (all over NYC), I was still up and had energy this morning. To the point where I was asked "how the hell can you be this awake right now?" My recovery time has done a complete 180 from last year.

I'm not grateful that, as I get older, I seem to get motion sickness. Which makes carousel rides and similar spinny rides a special kind of hell. But I did it anyway, because...really, look at this face. I'm grateful that I can push through the headache and nausea and do the ride anyway, because she loves it.

Travel and synchronicity

Today's gratitudes?

1) that I'm with someone who loves to travel so much. I'm the kind of person who is content to never leave upstate NY, except maybe once a year. But now, because of my partner, we travel several times a year. It strains our finances, I'll admit, and sometimes stresses me. But without that pressure to travel, I'd really miss out on the experiences we have had and have given our children.

2) synchronicity is so weird. Maybe it's just coincidence, I'm not sure, it's late and my vocabulary lessons flew out the window a few hours ago lol. Regardless. It is so awesome to speak with people who say "about 6 years ago I was diagnosed with cancer..." Just as I was (and we are both cancer free. Or "my child was diagnosed with a seizure disorder last year" just as my stepson was (and are all seizure free). Or other issues. And all of these amazing people have started traveling this path that I have joined.

3) that we have a positive relationship with my stepson's mother (my partner's ex). Some people think it's weird, but yes, we are friendly. To the point of taking trips together and sharing a car and hotel suite. It really is a positive thing for both kids.

Back on track.

What am I grateful for today?

1) My day job. It's fairly unrewarding, but it's stable. It has a pension and a huge union to fight for the small cost of living raises we get every so often. Some of the people are pretty cool, and most of the rest are OK to work with. I know there isn't much chance of advancement, but that is the cost of doing things "low risk." Its stability and structure has allowed me the opportunities to move to a new city, to buy a house, and to start paying off my debt. I'm not there yet, and my new prospect will hopefully help pave the way to a debt free life, but I'm lucky that I have the income that I do, and the future with this career.

2) That my dad's doctors are confident he can move ahead toward a surgery he desperately needs. We are all scared of what will happen if the doctors ever say "no", and while it is frustrating when they say "not yet," I'm still grateful that it wasn't a denial. He has a lot of work to do, and he is as stubborn as a mule, but if enough people get it into his head that he really can do this, then the work will get done so he can get the surgery and be healthy to see his grandkids graduate college and get married (if they wish).

3) Health insurance. Because without it, I would most likely be without my hand, and possibly without my life. I spent months in pain and not getting it checked out because I didn't have health insurance. I was a college grad working retail part time, and figured it was just carpal tunnel, so I bought a brace and went back to work. It got worse and worse, but I didn't have the money for testing and xrays. When I got this job, ny first checkup was on my wrist. That is when I was diagnosed with a rare form of bone sarcoma. I was lucky to have the insurance I did, because it paid for a second opinion with a world class surgeon at Memorial Sloan Kettering in NYC. Without Dr. Athanasian, the tumor may have been too much to handle, and I may have lost feeling and/or function in my hand, or worse, the hand itself. Without health insurance, I might not have caught the cancer before it metastasized to my lungs (which is very fast and common with that type of sarcoma), which could have killed me. I've been generally healthy since then, but am still grateful for my insurance every time I see a bill or explanation of benefits for myself or my family.

I'm behind already!

Yesterday was a rough one, mood-wise, for me. It was tough to find the gratitude, and I got really busy last night, so I'm making up some time. One thing I was grateful for? Coffee. Caffeine. Nothing awe-inspiring there, just coffee. Maybe it's psychological, lol, but it helps.

 

So, I completely intended to include this in a previous post, and I remember writing it, but the blogger app doesn't like to save drafts often enough. So I'm including it here.

 

Part of what got me away from focusing so intently on the numbers on the scale? My fiancée making sure I knew that I was beautiful, no matter what a slab of glass on my bathroom floor told me. Do I still weigh myself? Yeah. It's a habit. But it doesn't upset me if my weight fluctuates. I'm grateful that I am with someone who sees beauty in health. Not in how I fit into the clothing I wore when we met.

 

I'm also grateful for the wonderful people who also call my daughter family. We had to drive 2.5 hours away for an appointment that turned out to be pointless (hence my frustration), and I am so glad that I had someone who was able to watch my daughter and where I know she is loved just as much as she is at our house. Yes, we could have brought her. But keeping her in a car for 5 hours? Misery. When we went through several babysitters when my daughter was so little, I thought it was a bad thing. I thought "it's not fair" because so many people I know have found great sitters right off the bat and stayed with them for years. But when we found Tiff and her family, I'm glad the others didn't work out. Aine loves those girls like sisters, and they live in the school district I would like to move to, and this is the next best thing to having family in the area that I trust 100% with the health and happiness of my daughter while she is there. Thank you guys.

 

BFFs forever

May the 4th be with you

Because you havent heard that phrase enough today!

Today I am grateful for, first, the access to chiropractic care. Seriously. It's covered by my insurance and awesome for maintaining balance in my body.

Second, I'm grateful for my daughter's smile. No matter how crappy a day it is, or even if she is being an obnoxious threenager (at least what I'm perceiving as obnoxious), she can melt any heart with her smile and beautiful green eyes.

Last, but not least, im thankful for good friends who can keep me inspired and excited about sharing our simple changes with so many people. You've given me this gift, and I'm grateful that you won't let me stop moving forward. I know me, and I often start projects with a ton of energy, but quickly burn out, get distracted, and then give up. Thank you for not letting me give up on this goal towards physical, mental, and financial wellness.

All about family

So, I spoke with my friend about this whole "gratitude journal" thing...come to find out, you're supposed to pick 3 things you're grateful for each day. I know it's a personal choice, but whoops! I've never done one before, obviously.

Anyhoo, today, I am grateful for sunshine. Seriously. I live in upstate NY, and during the winter, sometimes it feels like the sun will never return. And then, on days like today, it's like winter is a distant memory. Maybe that's just my mind blocking traumatic memories, I dunno, lol. Sunshine grows the grass we play on, it grows the fruits and vegetables we eat, it feeds our bodies the vitamin D we need to survive and thrive, and it just generally feeds the soul. Because no matter what else is going on, having the sun shining and being outside with my family blowing bubbles and watching my dog play in my parents huge side yard? That is awesome.

The second thing I'm grateful for is my prius. Superficial sounding, maybe. But whatever. I'm glad I went for it and bought something that was just a little too much money, so that we can have a nice car that I've always wanted. And it saves a lot of money on gas, which is important when my family lives 85 miles south east, and my fiancee's family lives 60 miles northwest, and my stepson's other parent lives 30 miles southwest. I was lucky to be able to afford the luxury of stretching my budget to fit this car. For that, I am grateful. 

Last but certainly not least, I'm grateful that my daughter has a relationship with her elders. I grew up knowing 2 grandparents very well, 1 grandparent was a yearly visit or so, and one was very infrequent  (because she lived in Florida and I lived in NY). I never met my paternal grandfather, but I know he had a big laugh, a bigger belly, and an even bigger heart. I even have some memories of 3 great-grandmothers. Gram, Nanny, and Grandma Kelly  (Kelley?). My daughter has 4 grandparents and 1 great grandparent. As well as some great aunts and uncles too.

I'm grateful that, in the grand scheme of things, she is able to enjoy her time with her grandparents and great grandma while they are in relatively decent health. Some healthier than others, and understandably some need to rest after dealing with the tiny tornado of craziness. I know there are health battles, but all she sees are people who are all able to hold her, hug her, play bubbles with her, tickle her, wrestle, build duplo castles with her, sit on the porch and play basketball, plant flowers, go out to eat together, and so much more. Those are memories she will keep. She won't remember everything. But I know some will stick.

She loves all grandparents too, not just her own, and is blessed with seeing grandparents from several families on a fairly regular basis (her BFF's great grandma, and her babysitter's family, to name two).

Gratitude

Normally, whenever I've done a gratitude journal, it's been private. My intention was to post things on here occasionally. Maybe discuss what my daily intention was, maybe not. But today I figured that since I'm posting about it, I might as well go all the way. Treat this like a journal. Because frankly, the more positive energy being put out into the world, the better!

Today, I'm grateful for my body. This morning, I got up and made a healthy breakfast for the kids, and I cleaned the kitchen. We went to the zoo (where I even pushed a double stroller weighing over 100# total...uphill...jogging), then to a festival downtown, and then I mowed my lawn. For some people, this seems like a normal weekend day. But a year ago, less than half of this day would have sent me to bed at 5pm out of exhaustion and pain. Ok, maybe 9pm. I AM tired, don't get me wrong. But it's a good tired.

So many people out there have bodies that can't do what mine can do. Some of them can change that, but some can't. Some people have bodies that can do other amazing things that mine cannot. I'm just grateful for what I am able to do. That I can take care of my family, of my house, and still have energy to fool around and run around with the kids.

And the more I continue improving my health, the better I'm going to feel. The better my body will work. It took a while for me to get here, but once I took the first step...and then another...and then another...it got easier each time.

One Simple Change

Health isn't easy. It's too hard to do "everything right."  It's just easier and cheaper to do things the fast way...to stick to the status quo. I'll change eventually. I know it's good for me, but I can't change overnight.

These are the excuses I made every day. I kept myself from feeling better. I doubted myself every moment. I figured that everything was ok now, so why bother risking failure if I tried to change? It wasn't good, but it was OK. I'd tried to change my life plenty of times before, but always "failed." If I couldn't stay healthy after my chemo, and 2 years of great physical health, what made me think I could do it again?

Then I made one simple decision. The motivation was cosmetic (I looked bad in my clothes) and financial (I couldn't afford to buy more clothes), but it was a decision nonetheless. I chose to lose weight. And after 5 months, I had lost weight and started to gain health.

I haven't made too many changes since a year ago when I started Nutrisystem. Physically, anyway. But I have some amazing friends who inspire thought and introspection about weight issues, health issues, and body image. Through conversations with them, I have really started to see myself and my body in a different light.

One of these awesome friends was telling me about her personal journey to better health, and our conversation went deeper than physical health. Part of healthy living is taking care of your body, mind, and spirit. Keeping one healthy can help the others, but you can't ignore them.

How can you change your physical, mental, and emotional health? (and even spiritual, if you like) Isn't that a huge shift? That's a lot to tackle!

Sure it is. But it's so much easier if you do it one step at a time. My friends and I have taken our springtime determination to decide to make one simple change every month. Studies show it takes approximately 21 days to turn something into a habit. Or to break one. So by making one simple change per month, and keeping it up, by the end of the year, you've developed 12 new healthy habits to help you on your journey.

For this month, we've decided to work on our emotional and spiritual health, and create a gratitude journal. In that spirit, every day, I will be writing down something/someone I am grateful for. And why. And if I miss a day? No big deal. Just try again. The decision to change your life isn't about right or wrong. No matter what you do in the process, nothing is a "failure." Just by trying, you are already helping yourself and those around you. Each day is a new start.

Today, I'm gonna start big. I'm thankful for my loved ones. My family (by blood and by choice) who sticks with me, even when I get all crazy and feel either hot (inspired and determined) or cold (depressed and unmotivated). Who helps me keep those cold and dark feelings at bay, by supporting me and reminding me of the good stuff. I love you guys.

Health vs Weight Loss

In my quest for health, I started with only looking at my weight. I slowly started coming to terms with what I already knew: health isn't all about weight. For some, weight gain can be associated with poor health choices, but losing weight doesn't always mean getting healthy.

 

Only 2 months after my last chemo, and already "overweight"

I lost a LOT of weight in the most UNhealthy way: chemotherapy. As I recovered, and regained my health, I gained weight. According to the "charts," I was "healthy" while I was so weak I couldn't walk more than 100 yards. But when I was able to get up, eat a normal breakfast, hike 5 miles, have a picnic lunch in the woods, and hike 5 miles back? By that time, my weight put me into the "overweight" category. Baloney.





When I started this blog. Sick & Tired.

Even though I still weigh over 200 pounds, my weight loss through nutrisystem is coming to an end. The system is sound, and helped me to realize just how much my body really NEEDS, as opposed to how sick I was making myself. But the foods are very highly processed, and not good for me in the long term. They were a tool to help me learn how to listen to my body in terms of portions and hunger and thirst/water consumption. Over the past several years, I have turned to convenience foods, like take out and fast foods. I've ignored my body's reaction to most dairy products. I've eaten to the point of sickness because I hate to "waste" food. I lost my energy, and my mental and emotional state deteriorated. Without proper nutrition, everything suffers. (and this could have happened whether I was 245# or 145#).

 

A healthy "obese" me. Walking 10 miles a day at Disneyworld with the kids? No problem!

Nutrisystem, and the support structure online, helped me to see just how badly I was treating my body. Yes, I lost weight, and for a time, I focused on just the numbers on the scale. But I've also come to notice now that I also have more energy, more endurance, better bloodwork, etc. This is because I changed how I look at food, not just how I look. I changed how I see and treat food. I even changed how I react if I seriously over-eat! Nutrisystem was a tool. A catalyst for change. And for that, I am grateful.



Now, however, I've started focusing on WHAT I'm putting into my body. Not just protein content and calories and portion sizes. Not on "will this affect the scale." Not even on "how will this affect me in the short term." But rather, how can I nourish my body for the long haul? How can I improve my immune system, and that of my kids? How can I have the best chance to make sure that I'm around to meet my grandchildren and even great grandchildren?

 

 

A rainbow of veggies for my salad!

I know fruits & vegetables are the answer. They got me through the worst year of my life on chemotherapy with flying colors, and kept me healthy for years afterwards. I was miserable for 11 months on some of the roughest chemotherapy drugs known to womankind. But when I was done my doctor almost cried. He told me that so often he saw people with my kind of cancer relapse because their bodies couldn't handle the chemo. That, as miserable as I was, my body had held up in an amazing way. Now that I'm a busy mom working full time and on the road a lot, a full gamut of fruits and vegetables are harder to come by, but I'm dedicated to changing that. And I would love it if folks could join me! How do you get your fruits and veggies? How do you flood your body with antioxidants?

I'm BACK!

Hello all!

Not much has happened in the "redux" department for several months here, but a lot has happened in my life, which is why I've neglected this blog so darn much. Let me catch you up:



My Spring-Summer loss. 245# to 215# in 4 months!

After my last post, in early June I was in a fairly serious head-on collision. At 45mph, while I had minor muscle/tendon injuries, the bruising can be pretty severe. I gained 10 pounds immediately, from swelling alone. I also had hip and lower back issues, which meant my exercising ability was affected. The seatbelt caused these injuries, but it definitely saved me from what could have been much, much worse. So buckle up, people!!!

Also: my 2.5 year old daughter was in the car. Because she was still rear-facing, in a properly installed car seat, she had zero injuries. We went to the hospital for a check anyway, and the doctors panicked when they heard "45mph, head-on collision." Until the EMT smiled and said "she was rear facing," then they relaxed and thanked me. Had she been forward facing, she could have sustained some pretty severe trauma. Please, please, please, make sure your child is as safe as they can be, and buckled properly into the correct carseat for them! Please check out http://csftl.org/ (Car Seats for the Littles) if you have questions.

Now, off that soap box!

After my crash, my swelling went down pretty quickly, but I didn't have the opportunity or desire to work on anything but healing my bruises. I stayed at a 25# loss for a while, and then slowly started working back towards losing again. I was at a 30# loss in July, and by the time summer was over, I had lost...*drumroll*....45#!!! My goal was to be under 200 pounds by the time I went to Disney World in late September. I hit that goal about 3 days before I left!

 

My 2014 Weight loss. 245# to 198# in 6 months!

While I was at Disney, I ate what I wanted, because it was HOT, and we were walking a LOT. Pretty much any calories I was eating would be burned off, to some extent, and I wasn't going to affect the vacation of the decade by being worried about calories. Did I decline some things because I knew they would make my stomach upset? Yes. Salads over fries, lots of veggies, and small portions of fatty, cheesy things that would make me feel sick. But overall, I didn’t give a rat’s behind about my weight. I just wanted to have fun with my family.

 

When I got back from Florida and stepped on the scale, I had gained a whopping 10 pounds. A large part of that was from water retention, though, and I quickly dropped the first five with just drinking all my water.

From there, and through the holidays, I postponed my Nutrisystem boxes until February, knowing that I would need the time to save my money, and it gave me leeway to see just what I could do on my own. The end result? I simply maintained my weight within a 5 pound radius. I wavered between 202# and 206# with fairly little effort, which was a pleasure. I felt great, and I honestly wasn’t concerned about continuing my weight loss. Living life was the most important thing at that moment, and I was pleased that I didn’t gain any of the weight back.

During that time, I also began moderating a group on Facebook, dedicated to followers of NutriSystem. The other moderators needed to bow out, and I was trying to help motivate first about 800 members, now almost 1,800 members, and keep the group a judgement-free zone. The conversations have been great, and it is wonderful to see just how many people are so positive towards each other. Whether someone is posting a success or a frustration, whether they are being body-positive or down on themselves. Aside from spam, I have never had to ban anyone from the group for negative behavior, and only removed a small handful of posts/comments. This is such a difference from so many groups I am on, and part of the reason I have neglected this blog.

In February, I postponed again, until March 28^th. I also decided to buy the shakes and do the “fast five” this time, as my weight had gotten above 205 and stayed there for a bit too long. I wanted a “jump start.” I began the week of “Fast Five” at 207#. At the end of the week, even though I cheated a few times, I was down to 202#! I also received a shipment of frozen food this time…just a small “sampler”…and may I say, WOW! I never minded the shelf stable stuff, or at least most of it. It rates as OK on its own, and easy to doctor up to fit my taste and be pretty good. It will never be “gourmet” food or “just like mom used to make,” but I never expected that from packaged food. But it’s pretty darn good, as far as pre-packaged stuff goes. I’ve only had the cinnamon roll from the freezer so far, but dang, it may be tempting me to increase my subscription to include some frozen meals in the future!

Thank you all so much for reading, and I hope to be posting again soon!