5/11-5/12

1) I'm grateful for spring thunderstorms and the clean awesome air that accompanies them.

2) I'm grateful for the green grass that comes after a seemingly endless winter. Sure, it's growing faster than I can mow, but it's still green and awesome.

3) I'm grateful for the weird lawn-vaccuum-mower we just bought. Our yard is too small and hilly for a conventional mower, and the weed eaters we had been using took forever and left the yard looking like I'd given it a bad haircut. This new contraption is really just a weed eater with a "deck" attachment keeping it at the same height and taking the weight off my arms. It basically works like the most awkward vacuum you've ever used, but it's still 100x easier and way faster than what we had been doing.

1a) I'm glad that I am able to recognize the little voice in my head for what it is. The voice that tells me I'm not good enough, that I don't deserve something, that I should be embarrassed, or that someone's "tone" means they don't like me. That voice is just my self consciousness and is not logical. It's still there, and it still affects me. It still causes me anxiety. But I can talk myself out of the negative place, and usually really turn my attitude around fairly quickly.

2a) I love my house. It isn't in the best neighborhood, and it needs a lot of work. But it keeps us warm, safe, dry, entertained, and comfortable. It's even cute. I like working on it and making it better, and I'll be sad when it is time to sell. I may complain about all the issues with it, but it's a good little house.

3a) I love my little Gooberstink cat. He and his litter mates were born under someone's porch, when several weeks later the homeowner saw mama cat died in the road. She posted the kittens to craigslist, but pulled the ad after a rescue group told her they were only about 5 weeks old. She had already offered me one kitten, but told me what the rescue group said. I took him anyway, because I've nursed plenty of animals before. And now, because he has been with me for so long, he is the sweetest a**hole kitty you've ever met. Not once has he ever intentionally scratched the kids or the dogs. And only once has he unintentionally scratched the kids. Sure, he may be obnoxious and try to stick his anus in my face, but that's just cuz he's a cat. It's his sign of affection lol.