What are your goals?

What are your goals for your weight loss?

We all want to be healthy. We want to be there for our kids, for our grandkids even. We want to prevent diseases like diabetes and colon cancer. We want to get off blood pressure, cholesterol, and high blood pressure medications.

But that is so general. Just "losing weight" is so nonspecific, sometimes it can seem overwhelming. What are your more solid goals? What events do you want to do that maybe you couldn't before due to your weight or lack of exercise? What clothes do you want to wear to an event that you couldn't before?

What are your little goals? Tiny wins that help you feel like you're making progress, aside from the scale?

My big goals are, in no particular order:

1) Disneyworld. I want to be fit enough to walk the average 10-15 miles per day for the week we are taking the kids to Disneyworld in the fall. I also want to feel good enough about myself to be in a lot of pictures. I don't want to be absent, as I so often am.

2) My anniversary. I would love to be the same weight I was when my fiancee and I met when we go out for our anniversary lunch/dinner. I want to wear the same dress I wore that day.

3) My high school reunion. I know it is superficial, but I was always the fat kid. Soon it will be 15 years since I graduated high school, and I want to look better!

Small goals?

1) Having my boobs stick out farther than my belly.

2) Every. Single. Belt loop.

3) Crossing my legs with ease.

4) Shaving without difficulty.

5) Going from the basement to the 2nd floor of our house, or even the attic, without getting winded.

Some of the small goals I have achieved and continue to achieve. Some I am still working on. I'm sure I will have more as time goes on.

Having specific goals makes almost every day a victory!

On Exercise

So, what do YOU do for exercise?

So far, I haven’t. I’m serious. I will openly admit to being LAZY. I would get winded going up the stairs to my house (we have about 18 total from street to porch). Although after losing those 20 pounds, I’ve noticed that doesn’t happen as much anymore. And GODDESS FORBID I have to go right upstairs for something! So I haven’t intentionally exercised in a long while.

I wasn’t always lazy, but it is a pattern for me. In high school, I was definitely lazy. But once college came, I exercised three times a week, minimum. It felt great. I got lazy again when I moved and got into the crappy retail job. I preferred drinking and partying and smoking Marlboros to exercise. Then I moved again and got cancer and obviously couldn’t do much more than walk around the block. But I did it. I had motivation and knew I needed to try to keep my strength up. Once I was done with the chemo, I slowly walked more…I did more DVDs…I started running, even. I never thought I would be a runner! But as my muscles started getting stronger, I kept working them. I got a gym membership, and actually USED IT. I could run for 30 minutes or more on a treadmill (20 minutes in the hilly neighborhood where I live—I wasn’t THAT good a runner, lol). For a former fat girl, I felt pretty accomplished. Hiking was fun, since I didn’t have to stop eleventy times during the excursion. Walking (and running and biking) my dogs was great.  But once I got fat again, I fell into my same patterns. I made excuses, just like with the food. And guess what: not only is it harder for us fat folks to exercise because we are out of shape, but it is just plain harder to move 250 pounds than 155!

So I made a choice. At 245 pounds, I couldn’t imagine exercising. Thinking about exercising made me tired. So for my sanity, and to help keep me from being discouraged, I chose to diet only. But only for the first 20 pounds. I figured that after 20 pounds of weight loss, I knew I would feel better and have more energy. So this week I will be doing exercise DVDs in the evenings after my daughter goes to bed. Nothing crazy here, I’m just starting! But 20-30 minutes (maybe a bit more for stretching or whatnot) of a DVD at least 4 times per week. I have yoga, tae bo, leslie sansone “walk away the pounds” and probably a dance/zumba one. Variety is good, but I will probably pick an aerobic one for 3x per week, and the yoga 1-3x per week. Stick with the same one for a week, then move on.

In another month (6/1) I will start walking in the mornings as well…if I can get my butt out of bed before the 2.5 year old alarm clock starts yelling “mooooooooommmmyyyy!”

When I start getting into a walking routine, I will give myself probably 2 weeks before starting a running routine. I loved the program “couch to 5k”. It can be downloaded as a podcast (and perhaps something more advanced now, since I haven't done it in 5 years) and helps you walk/run in timed intervals. Starting with mostly walking, and ending with jogging/running approximately a 5k in 35 or so minutes. I plan on using that to get me up to running a 5k by 9/6, raising money for the ARC of Onondaga. I’ve also heard rumors of a 5k color run happening in October. Depending on the course, I could probably even bring Aine to that one (needing a stroller, of course…hence the “depending on the course”).

So no, I don’t exercise. But I have a plan. And now that I’ve announced the plan to the world, I kind of have to do it, don’t I?

For those of you out there who think you’re too big to exercise, or it’s embarrassing to go to the gym, or try to run a 5k (or run in the street in general), I say this: just do it. If you feel like you need to lose some weight before beginning an exercise program, that’s fine. Do what is comfortable for you, and set your goals. Choose something that sounds reasonable, and stick to it. What will make you feel like you’ve REALLY lost weight? 10 pounds? 20? 30? What will inspire you and help you FEEL better? But keep in mind, your diet will be slower after the first month or so without the exercise. So make it realistic. Then get your butt out there! It sounds crazy, but the more you exercise, the more energy you will have. Maybe not at first, but it accumulates. I know, because I did it. I was a lazy person who learned to like exercise! Now I’m lazy again, and having to convince myself to start again. Because I know I will see the benefits.

PS: I know I need to do weight-bearing exercises and toning and such, but joining a gym is fairly impossible for me at this time. So…I will try to incorporate some into my workouts at home. We have an exercise machine and weight bench packed away in storage, so maybe I can find a place to put it in a few months as I get more energy.

One month later...

So, I've been dieting for a month. I did photos and my measurements on 3/31, so I'm going to do photos today and I did measurements yesterday.

Comparing April (ok, 3/31) to May (5/1)

April	May	Change
Chest: 44"	Chest: 40.8"	-3.2"
Waist: 45"	Waist: 41.2"	-3.8"
Hips: 51"	Hips: 48.3"	-2.7"
Upper Arms: 16"	Upper Arms: 15.6"	-0.8" (total)
Thigh: 30"	Thigh: 28.2"	-3.6" (total)
Body Fat: 28%	Body Fat: 27.5%	-0.5%
BMI: 39.6	BMI: 36.6	-3pts

I've lost 14.1" and 19 pounds total!

 

 

Sorry for the poor quality of the "after" photos--I was in my work bathroom, rushing so people wouldn't see me taking pictures in my undershirt! (Success, btw, nobody came in). I see the most change in my waist/belly and chin in the front facing photo. I haven't FELT thinner, but looking at these photos, I can see it.

 

Plus, in April, I was on notch 5 of my belt. Now I am at notch 7. At my highest weight, I used notch 2-3. I feel great, and hope to see even more improvement for my June photos!!

Ups and Downs

So, I started off this weight loss journey with a bang! Lost like 8 pounds the first WEEK! I knew it was probably water weight from actually eating lots of veggies and drinking the right amount of water, but it was a big motivator!

 

Week two I lost another 3 pounds. Wow!

 

Week three I got the flu. I lost 7 pounds. Well, duh, I was surviving on broth and saltines. 500 calories a day if I was lucky. I knew there was a chance that number would go up when I started eating real food.

 

Then there was a transition week. I felt better...ish. I wanted only comfort foods. I wanted snacks and pizza and chicken fajitas. I gagged over salads. I splurged for several days. I always started the day with good intentions, but by lunchtime all I wanted was junk. I could usually hold off and only have maybe one cookie, but because I wasn't eating my salads I was hungry! By dinnertime, I made poor choices.

 

My current diet suggests 1200-1500 calories per day. Those days I was over 2,000. I posted about how I felt the other day...defeated, but eventually hopeful. I stepped on the scale and it read 231. Damn. Went to the doctor's, and their scale read 232. (But with jeans on and stuff in my pockets)

So I got back on track. I'm still slipping up, still struggling more than I did the first two "honeymoon" weeks. But today's scale read 226.4! The 231 just 4 or 5 days ago was probably a lot of bloating from eating more cheese, fat, and sodium than usual.

 

I cant wait to see 225. That will mean a 20 pound loss. I already feel better, but I have a long way to go.

Beware of traps!

Recognize what triggers you to overeat and try to plan solutions ahead of time. Try to think of what foods you crave, and then imagine what else would satisfy the craving.

Does visiting family make you want to snack (or snack on inappropriate things)? Pack enough food ahead of time...don't rely on making good decisions in the moment if you know it will be hard for you.

Do holidays have you craving chocolate? Do social events make you crumble for chips and dip? Think ahead if possible. Offer to being veggies and homemade dip to a party to ensure you have a backup. Buy some healthy snacks with some chocolate (some granola bars, healthy cookies, dark chocolate covered pretzels, etc), pre-portion them, and enjoy an indulgence when you are craving sweets.

And if you fall into your trap, if you over snack at your in-law's, if you eat 3 big reeses easter eggs from your daughter's basket, if you grab a plate of ridged chips and French onion dip at a party, remember: it isn't the end of the world. It isn't the end of your weight loss or diet. Things happen, and this is a trap you can just walk out of. Make your next meal a healthy one and get back on track.

Some tips for your vegetables…

Having a hard time adding vegetables? Not sure what to do for snacks? Here are some of my tips and tricks. Whether you’re on Nutrisystem or not, these can help with your steps toward healthier eating!



http://www.fitsugar.com/How-Steam-Fry-Vegetables-Fish-16079898

Need protein with some vegetables? Do a quick and easy greens steam fry. Put about ½” of water in your pan (cast iron or nonstick work best) and add your seasoning vegetables. Let’s say 1/4c onions, 1/4c peppers, and 1TB minced garlic. I buy the peppers and onions frozen and the garlic pre-minced in water (in a jar). As they heat up, add ½-1cup of your “main” vegetables. I’ve been on a spinach kick lately, but I’ve done kale, collards, swiss chard, even cabbage. I like to use frozen, again, because it is faster. But local fresh greens are coming, and I can’t wait! When that starts to thaw, I add my protein. The past few days, it has been a Boca vegan burger. But I’ve done a vegan sausage with an egg white, I’ve done just a scrambled egg, I’ve added lean ham or turkey. Try to stick around 80-100 calories for your protein. When your water is gone (I try to keep a level of water in the pan until all ingredients are added, so have a cup or two of water next to you to add as you cook), add 1-2TB of salsa. I use jarred, but fresh would be yummy too. Let that cook down for a minute or two, and voila! Very yummy. I have been using this for my breakfast lately, then waiting a bit and having my coffee and Nutrisystem muffin or bar or biscotti as a morning snack.

As an extension of the above, try microwave poaching an egg (spray a shallow bowl with pam or other thin coating of oil, crack egg into it and break yolk, microwave at 50-60% power for 1:45-2 minutes), toasting a Nutrisystem or other healthy bagel/bread, making a small amount of greens steam fry, and making a sandwich, topped with salsa.

Steam frying is GREAT for most things. No, it won't put a beautiful crust on your meat/tofu/tempeh. It doesn't work too well for eggs. But when it comes to vegetables and fish...steam fry! You can use water, broth, or even wine (yum! Just watch your calories from the sugar).

When you’re making a salad, make it INTERESTING! Having the same thing *every.single.day* kindof sucks. Sure, some days I’m ok with lettuce, tomato, and some dressing. But that is boring, and doesn’t make you really WANT those veggies. Find “free” toppings…other vegetables that work as toppings. Find low-calorie dressings that you can mix and match with other seasonings. Make a theme…try to match your salad to your entrée so it flows and you look forward to it more than “just a salad.”

For example: If I’m having chili for lunch, I think about what I can have in my salad to make it more like what you would get in a Mexican restaurant. I have my mixed greens, I add tomato, red onion, diced peppers, and mix 1-2TB of salsa with 1-2TB of fat free greek yogurt. If it is dinner time and I have the calories to spare, I may add shredded cheddar, guacamole/avocado, or pepitos or baked tortilla chips for some extra crunch. If you’re not watching your sodium, try some olives. For some seasonings, I may add cilantro, lime or hot sauce.

http://vegancrunk.blogspot.com/2011/04/sushi-deconstructed.html

Another example: I’m having kung pao noodles for dinner. So I make a salad with a base of mixed greens, with coleslaw or broccoli slaw mix, chopped nori, scallions, canned/pickled mushrooms, a few baby corns (some people say these are too starchy, because corn is corn, but baby corn has a higher glycemic index…use in moderation, and watch your sodium if you’re getting canned!), maybe some broccoli or cucumber. I may add edamame for protein, sesame seeds, tahini, chopped peanuts, or avocado if I have the room for the calories, maybe some brown rice or quinoa if I have some leftovers. I make a dressing of soy sauce (or Bragg’s liquid aminos), rice vinegar, maybe some sesame oil, and crushed red peppers or horseradish/wasabi or ginger.

You’re having Italian for dinner? Try a light semi-ceasar or greek-inspired salad! Romaine lettuce, spinach, a couple of baked croutons, a smattering of some nice parmesan/romano cheese or feta, and add some fresh basil, chopped tomatoes, chopped zucchini, sundried tomatoes or roasted red peppers, olives, red onion or chives. Use a fat free Italian dressing with a TB of greek yogurt, or use balsamic or red wine vinegar with a little olive oil and minced garlic.

http://www.evernewrecipes.com/tag/coleslaw

Having a BBQ? Make a vinegar-dressed coleslaw with shredded cabbage, carrot, broccoli, onion, red pepper, zucchini, maybe some apple and raisins for sweetness. There are tons of recipes online for coleslaw ingredients and dressings…I haven’t made one in a while, but check it out. You might surprise yourself if you didn’t think you were a coleslaw fan!

I love making “themed” salads, and they always taste so much better! Salads and raw vegetables are a great way to increase your veggie intake. You can only eat so much steamed broccoli, but a salad is very filling for very few calories (just keep an eye on your cheese/dressing/meat toppings!). I try to have at least 2 salads a day. Usually in addition to my “cooked” vegetable side dish to my entrée.

Do you have any favorite salad recipes? Please post them in the comments…the more, the merrier!

On falling off the wagon.

Already I fell off the wagon. Hard! 

It started with a week of the flu. I was eating from 300-800 calories a day in broth and toast. I couldn’t imagine a vegetable passing my lips. I slept and whined. I didn’t exercise a bit. 

When I started to feel a bit better, I upgraded to noodle soups. Maybe some chicken and well-steamed broccoli. Nary a raw vegetable in sight (which normally is what keeps me on track). I was still low on my calories, so I didn’t much care. Plus, I lost more weight and was down to 227#! 

I had planned to “cheat” on Easter, but still didn’t feel well. I probably ate a few too many scalloped potatoes, but overall I ate very little compared to my usual bingeing! 

Then I felt almost all better. And my partner didn’t want to cook. And I didn’t want to cook. And the thought of a salad still made me gag a little. So he ordered a pizza. And I said “oh what the hell” and ate half a slice. Then another half a slice. Then a few bites of my daughter’s. Then another half a slice.

705 calories later, I felt gross! I’ll admit it, I have some body image issues. I sometimes equate what I’ve eaten or how I look to the kind of person I am. Which is wrong, ok? I know this isn’t right, and that eating 705 calories of pepperoni pizza doesn’t make me a gross person, it doesn’t make me a bad person, it doesn’t make me “sad” or stupid or take anything away from the success I’ve had so far. But this was how I felt. I had an argument with myself. My overeater “devil” on one shoulder saying “it was just one meal…just one cheat…don’t worry about it…you deserve it.” My self-conscious “devil” on my other shoulder (yes, I have two “devils”…probably more, lol, but these were the ones arguing amongst themselves that evening) telling me that it was wrong, and I just wasted all my work and probably gained a bunch of weight back and how stupid could I be? I would never succeed. And so I wallowed in my self pity, with my overeater mentality appearing to be the “angel” on my shoulder. Making me feel better about myself. Telling me to go get a reese’s peanut butter egg, because damnit, why not? 

The next day, I started somewhat healthy, but faltered at lunch when we took the kids out to a restaurant. I thought I was ordering healthy…a chicken fajita rollup, with shredded chicken, pico de gallo (fresh salsa), lettuce, and cheese. Well, with so much cheese, and a creamy dip (which I didn’t eat much of, but can’t calculate), the calories ended up being 1040! Plus 230 for the salad (which doesn’t compute, since it was just lettuce, tomato, cucumber, and shredded cabbage and carrot with a tiny bit of light honey mustard dressing). I ate that damn reese’s peanut butter egg. And some reese’s pieces. And a few jelly beans. (can you tell I like reese’s?). I was at almost 2,000 calories for the day, and feeling even worse than the day before. 

Until I talked about it. It may have only been on a facebook group, but I talked about it. I got it out. I realized that the voice of reason isn’t any of the devils on my shoulders. It is my healthy self, somewhere deep inside. Sure, I felt bad because I gained 3 pounds. Sure, I knew I needed to get back to thinking healthy. But indulging on pizza or a really tasty meal out doesn’t deny that I am still over 15# down from my starting weight! And there is probably a decent amount of water weight there from all the sodium. I need to accept that shit happens, and the only thing we can do is dust ourselves off, get back up, and start over. Feeling guilty won’t help, because you can’t change the past. You can resolve to do a bit more exercise to try and balance out those calories, which may start a good habit of increased exercise in general. You can put your foot down and use your emotional energy towards healthy thinking (both about food, and about yourself).  

Positive thinking doesn’t always come naturally to me. I know a lot of people for whom that applies. But you can consciously change that. Even if you feel super shitty about yourself, every time you take a step back and really look at what happened, really look at “how bad is it?” you take a step towards healthy thinking. Obviously, for some people, it takes more than just self-talk. I’m not discounting that! I’m talking in generalizations. Feeling a little (or maybe a lot) bad about yourself is, unfortunately, something that is seen as normal in today’s society. Especially for women. It is going to take a lot of positive self-talk to help us move towards confidence and healthy thinking.

 

Today has been better. If I stick to plan, I should be at 1180 calories, which gives me a little wiggle room. And I took the stairs twice today, which is better than I usually do here at work.

 Baby steps.

Got my first shipment! And eating with family

I’ve been gone for several days, sorry! Weekends are busy at our house, and I don’t have a computer to easily post from, so I usually type at home and post from work (shhh, don’t tell my boss…OK, I don’t care, tell her…I’m on my break!).

So, Friday I received my first shipment.

Holy cow, it is huge! Fifty four pounds! The first thing I did, once I was able to sit down with it without my 2 year old trying to grab things and run away with them, was sort out meals by time of day. That’s mostly my OCD, though. I used the packing list to make sure I received everything I was supposed to. Unfortunately there were some substitutions…I ended up with EIGHT chilis. EIGHT! Because they were out of the sloppy joes, they substituted vegetarian chili. There are so many beans in so many of the lunches that I called them up. The rest of the substitutions I was OK with (getting an extra oatmeal raisin cookie because they were out of oatmeal chocolate chip? Fine…getting an extra rotini and meatballs because they were low on the tortellini dish? Fine), but I can’t eat that many beans. Their customer service person agreed to replace the 3 sloppy joes I had ordered with 3 burger patties instead, and also sent me 3 extra meals “for the inconvenience.” She kept asking “well, have you tried any of the other dinners you know you like?...Would you like one of those?” I felt guilty! But she was very nice about it, and said it was no problem. So I’m getting 6 free dinners in the mail. If anyone wants to try a vegetarian chili, let me know!

I also was convinced by some friends on Facebook to ask about an insurance discount. Now, according to all the research I had done, my insurance does NOT cover or participate with any kind of weight loss diet program. Sure, they would cover doctor’s appointments (with copays) and weight loss surgery, but in terms of gym or diet plan discounts, all signs pointed to “no.” But I asked anyway. They asked what insurance I had—“XXX plan through Blue Cross Blue Shield.” OK, BCBS is a participating insurance…12% off your next order. They didn’t ask for my number or anything! So, definitely call and ask, even if you think they will say no. I could have gotten another $40 off my first order, had I known!

Since there is SO MUCH FOOD to deal with, I took an empty plastic 3-drawer cart like this one (without the casters) from my daughter’s room. I have a fairly unused counter in my kitchen that always ends up being a catch-all/clutter collector, so I cleaned it off and put the cart up there. The food fit PERFECTLY! Breakfasts and desserts up top, lunches in the middle, dinners on the bottom. It was a tight fit at first, and some dinners ended up in the lunch drawer, but now that I’ve had about 5 days of the food, things are much easier. I put my “extras” up on top—my cracker crisps, my hummus chips, my organic oatmeal and healthy cereals. Well stored and out of toddler reach! (She tried to run off with my popcorn while I was putting everything away…I just barely saved it lol)

I’ll try to remember all of the foods I’ve eaten and how I thought about them in a new post…I think I will do that from now on.

I’ve had 2 “eating out” experiences so far. One was spending the day with my fiancee’s mom. She was kind enough to make a wonderful looking casserole for all of us. I had thought ahead enough to bring breakfast and lunch, but didn’t think about dinner. The casserole was egg noodles (full eggs), cream of chicken soup, breaded chicken chunks, and peas. So much starch…so many simple carbs…so much fat and calories! But it looked yummy and I had no NS entrée. I went to the website and messaged a counselor (so easy, and they were so nice), and she recommended having a 1 cup serving. It would most likely be higher in calories than a NS entrée, but as long as I was practicing portion control, it wouldn’t affect my diet much. I also asked my fiancée to bring back a bag of salad mix (I still had dressing and tomatoes from lunch), and dinner was good! I declined the big puffy dinner roll, which got a little eye rolling (“Oh, it won’t kill your diet, just have one!”) but that’s OK. I know it wouldn’t have killed my diet, but I’m just starting out and am making the choice to stick to it as much as possible!

My other eating out experience was meeting my mom for lunch when I was on the road for work. This time I was prepared. She wanted to meet at a subway inside Walmart. So I brought a lunch bar, chicken, salad dressing, and a bowl. We were out of salad at home, so I got to Walmart a little early, purchased a bag of mix at the store, grabbed a fork from the deli, and met her inside Subway. At first I was a bit embarrassed…I could have just bought a salad from them, but would have paid $6 or more, and I’m cheap! So, my mom got her sub, I had my salad with dressing and chicken breast, and we had a great lunch together. I ate my bar as a “dessert” while she had her chips. After the first 5 minutes (while I was assembling the salad), I didn’t feel weird at all.

The lesson I learned, especially from family visit #1, is that the point of NS is to teach you about healthy eating and feeling good about what you’re eating, not to only restrict calories. I’m learning this slowly, especially when I’m flexing meals. How to really pay attention to what is going into my body and how it will affect me physically. I knew all of this stuff before, but didn’t really care. I feigned having “no willpower” and I don’t eat “that bad,” but both were lies. I have willpower, I am strong, and I was eating badly. I felt sick all the time, and that should have been an indication.

My only complaint so far…the sugar alcohol they use to sweeten the baked goods and bars. Whether you’re diabetic or not, sugar adds calories, so they use sorbitol and malitol mostly to sweeten their foods. My body is NOT a fan. I’ve known I have an issue with xylitol for several years, through experience (unfortunately). I can have some, but repeat use causes some serious gastrointestinal issues. This is fairly common, so be forewarned. Some people experience gas due to a sudden increase in fiber from the vegetables and whole grains you’re now eating. This gas will go away as your body gets used to the new diet, sometimes in a few days, sometimes it takes a few weeks. However, if you are sensitive to things like the sugar alcohol (malitol, etc) in the foods, the gas may let up some, but it won’t go away. I was really bloated last night, sorry if that’s TMI, and decided that today I would stick to flexing my meals. I will stick to the NS plan, but use my own foods as the entrees. I planned on oatmeal and an egg for breakfast (my own organic oatmeal instead of NS oatmeal), salad and some “zero noodles” with chicken, broccoli, and pesto for lunch (leftovers from a flexed dinner), snack, and then a lean cuisine with salad for dinner. I had a smoothie for breakfast and never got to the oatmeal, but that’s OK with me, and I’m getting ready to grab my lunch and feel SO much better. If you are having gas issues, pick up some gas-x or beano, and try giving yourself a break from the high “sugar” foods for a day or two to see how you feel. Also, read this thread, it is HILARIOUS: http://boards.members.nutrisystem.com/showthread.php?168095-These-farts-are-no-longer-funny&highlight=funny .

Edit: I had the fudge brownie for dessert last night, just to see how it went. Yup, gassy again. *sigh*

 

 

 

 

How do I get ready for the day?

Well...with the nutrisystem I find it fairly easy to get ready for the day (or the next day if I am packing up the night before for work).

Here is a typical "setup" for my work day:

First I set aside my entrees for breakfast and lunch. This is at or  day on the road, so I am having two bars (the Luna protein are fairly comparable to the NS bars, and I'm out of NS breakfast bars). I use my plan* to see what I need with each meal (dairy/protein and fruit for breakfast, veggies and protein for lunch, veggies and protein for snack). I make sure everything is premeasured so there is no guesswork. I find it somewhat freeing, actually. And I have accountability. I spent this money on this plan, I dang well better use it! 

I'm bringing a bowl because I don't have my salad greens-I will buy them When I get to the store at lunchtime.

*My plan may be a bit different because I have quite a bit of weight to lose, and I dont eat a morning snack

Wow! And more food stuff.

I think my pictures are on the bottom...and huge. If so, i will fix it when I get to a computer!

So, here's my "Before" stats and some pictures

245#
Waist 45
Hips 50.5
Body fat percent ~28

I stepped on the scale expecting to see 260. After 2 days on nutrisystem, it was 242.4. I'm going to say I started at 245 to make myself feel that much better.

I'm impressed because I've been very down on myself lately. I've felt terrible, so many of my clothes don't fit, and shopping for new pants has been AWFUL. I hate looking in the mirrors at department stores, especially when the pants that fit me and that I can afford are all "Mom Jeans." Now, I love my mother, who wears jeans. I am a mother, who also wears jeans. But there are jeans, and then there are mom jeans. http://www.graspingforobjectivity.com/2012/10/plus-sized-denim.html I'm probably wearing the offending jeans RIGHT NOW. But I don't have the time, patience, or money, to go in search of nice-looking jeans for myself. So I get frustrated and very down on myself. I honestly believed that I was upwards of a size 24, 260+ pounds, and my waist had crept well over 45". The biggest men's pants I've ever worn were in my college and post-college days, when I was a 42x30. Now most 42s won't fit.

Surprise, surprise, the last few days, even before starting NS, I've noticed that my pants are much looser, I'm on belt loop #6 now (I was on loop #3 for quite a while, then #5, then back to #3 just recently). When I was weighed for my weight loss surgery consult, I was 253, and I just FELT bigger and even less healthy than I did all those months ago. But I guess not. I'm also not sure how they figure that my body fat % is only 28 (not the "obese" category? Seriously?). Probably because my wrist measurement is large...I have fat on my wrists, and I think that is a proportion they assume you DON'T have fat. Well, we'll see what it says next week!

Anyhoo, food stuff...

The food stuff

So, Monday for dinner I made my own! (I wasn’t planning on doing it so early in the system, but I made SURE I followed the steps.

1 entrée is typically 2 proteins and 1 carb. 1 regular turkey burger is 2 proteins, and for the carb I had sweet potato “fries” (oven broiled sweet potato, probably equivalent to about 1/8-1/5 of a large sweet potato). Total about 275 calories. For my veggies I had steamed broccoli and a salad with tomatoes. For my “extra” fat, I added a low calorie slice of cheese (60). Total calories for all of that? Probably 375-400. Nice.


At first, I was hungry…I wanted 2 burgers like usual. I wanted the bun like everyone else had. And then, I won’t deny it, my brain went into feminist mode, recalling articles about women denying themselves food just to fit into what society says they should. How women should stand up and take what they want, and the diet industry is prospering on women’s insecurities (men’s too, but across our society, women tend to be the most active in the diet industry). But I reminded myself that this isn’t forever. This is a change to get my body to a healthy weight. If I forego the big white fresh-baked rolls for a few months, I will FEEL better. I already feel better. This is not to say I will never have rolls again. Or that I can’t find a healthy substitute. I’m not choosing to always deprive myself, I’m choosing to be healthy so that I can be here for many more years. So I can hike and dance and climb with my kids. So I can hike and dance and climb with my grandkids. Hell, I would love to hike and dance and climb with my great-grandkids, if I’m so lucky. I want to avoid the diabetes and heart/cholesterol/blood pressure issues that run in my family. My outlook needs to change from “I live to eat” to “I eat to live” (see Dr. Fuhrman’s book “Eat to Live”—amazing stuff, and I would love to get back to that kind of living once my body “resets” to a healthier weight).

After the table was cleared and I packed up the baby’s leftovers, I realized, yet again, that I wasn’t hungry. It will take me some time to remember the difference between cravings and hunger. I had a good meal, seasoned well, tasted great, and plenty of calories. My body still craves the simple carbs and sugars it is used to. In order to satisfy that craving, I had my dessert of the NS mini chocolate chip cookies with a glass of almond milk. It helped quite a bit, and by then I was ready to get down to what I needed to do that evening.

Tuesday morning I brought my same cottage cheese and applesauce as yesterday, but instead of a muffin, had apple cinnamon oatmeal. I never got to the oatmeal! Just had my cottage cheese, applesauce, and coffee. I had it as a snack that afternoon and skipped the hummus and veggies.  I had the NS Red Beans and Rice, leftover steamed broccoli, and a salad of ½ coleslaw mix and ½ spring mix, a few tomatoes, some bacon bits, and my own FF dressing (1Tb Italian, 1Tb roasted red pepper dressing, 1tsp BBQ sauce, and ½ tsp hot sauce). The inspiration was from a wegmans pre-packaged salad mix I had in the fridge. It is a coleslaw/romaine blend with bacon bits and tortilla chips for toppings, a yogurt dressing, and BBQ sauce to mix in. I used the veggie blend and some of the bacon and made my own dressing. I’m saving the other stuff for a later date. I planned on adding a hard boiled egg as well, but I left that at home. Oops.

For dinner I had the NS chicken pot pie, with a repeat of my lunch salad (except with more cabbage/carrots and less lettuce) and my egg. I was pretty full! I'm still surprised when that happens. My eyes have been trained for so long to see what I THINK is a good meal, when in reality I need so much less. I had the NS cheesecake bar for dessert since dinner was saltier than normal.

As I delve more into sharing and my own history with food, I know it is related to control. If anyone has done any research on eating disorders, you know it is often associated with control. Food is sometimes the one thing that a person CAN control, and when they do it to excess, it becomes a disorder. My issues are twofold. The control aspect is like the opposite of what I described above: I have so much going on, so much I have to control, so much I have to get right, so much I have to fix, that I often don’t control a damn thing that goes in my mouth. It is something I don’t have to think about. It tastes good, so who cares? It also is a bit OCD: I can’t imagine food going to waste. So I eat leftovers, I can’t pass up free food, etc. It is like hoarding!

How do I fix this? How can I repair my relationship with food? Well, I’m not sure. But for now, I need to establish control. I can’t let myself get overwhelmed (which is why proportioned meals are good for me right now) or forget that my goal in eating is to survive and thrive, physically, not to escape and eat out of stress or depression. The control and meal plans help with that—a lot. Sure, we have a whole bag of honey BBQ potato chips in the pantry. But I have special K cracker chips if I want something salty. I have nutrisystem popcorn if I want it. We may have Sarah Lee brownie bites (I’m not 100% sure what they are—a big red box of packaged goodies I don’t even look at!), but I have cookies and chocolate covered pretzels and fruit if I want a sweet treat. For the OCD half of my issues, I need to remind myself that if I’m just eating the ¼ of a burger my daughter leaves on her plate so it won’t “go to waste”, it IS going to waste. It is adding to my excess weight and other related issues. It will be unwanted and wasted whether it goes in the trash or into my body. If all else fails, healthier stuff will go to the dog. He doesn’t mind, and doesn’t have excess weight to worry about! ¼ of a turkey burger would do him good. (obviously don’t feed your dog bad things like onions, excess garlic, grapes/raisins, avocado, etc)

NS Food reviews:

Mini Chocolate chip cookies: ★★☆☆☆

In a word: Meh. I guess if I had them again, I wouldn’t mind too much, but if given the choice I won’t order them. I figured they would be somewhat hard and tasteless (like those 100 calorie pack mini chips ahoy cookies), but…wow. I could barely taste any chocolate, even when I bit off a “chip” from the top of a cookie and ate it by itself. The cookies were hard, but didn’t soften at all in my almond milk. It satisfied the craving, sure, but it wasn’t very good. If you like crunchy cookies, you might like these better—I’m a soft cookie fan, myself.

Red Beans and Rice with Sausage: ★★★★☆

I want to give these 3.5 stars. Good, but I’m not sure if it is 4 stars good. The sausage is GREAT for diet sausage. Unfortunately, there are only 3 little slices, lol. The seasonings are pretty salty, but not too bad. The rice is pretty soft, but that is to be expected from a pouch meal. My advice: pour it into a bowl to cook. I feel like the plastic made it taste funny when it was really hot. After it cooled down (on my plate) and was mixed with my broccoli, it reached 4 stars. But at first I was ready to give it 2 or 3. And add some veggies. Frozen/thawed peppers and onions would be GREAT in here! Let them thaw on the counter in the morning so they are room temp and soft, then microwave with the rice. Zero extra effort, and would definitely add to the flavor and texture.

Chicken Pot Pie:  ★★★★☆

The flavor was pretty comparable to other prepackaged pot pies. Fairly small, but that's the point of portion controlled meals! The crust topper was a bit tougher than I would have liked, but still flaky and the flavor worked very well with the sauce and filling.

Cheesecake flavored bar:  ★★★☆ ☆

Not bad, but the texture was a bit odd (slightly hard, like a nougat). Size-wise, it was like a small candy bar, maybe the length of my palm (see picture). A little tart and not particularly cheesy, and the graham cracker layer had something in it that stuck in my teeth. I will eat it, because it reminds me of a candy bar and I already ordered 2 more lol. But next order I probably won't be getting them.

Cinnamon Struesel Muffin:  ★★★★☆

A little smaller than the chocolate muffin, but very similar to "regular" prepackaged muffins. No aftertaste, just cinnamon and a slight brown sugar flavor.

WHO WANTS $30 OFF THEIR FIRST ORDER?! And other tips

If you would like $30 off your first order of Nutrisystem, simply leave me a comment with some way to contact you. I can send you an email with a coupon code.

My advice: find the BEST deal you can online. Search, for days if you have to. The basic offer on their website is never the BEST deal they offer. For example:

If I went to their website and ordered the Core plan, it would have been $279.99, and I would have gotten their free "fast five" 5 day program, which includes 3 meals and 2 shakes per day for 7 days. Which, including the shakes, ends up being about $1.90 per meal the first month, and $2.50 per meal for subsequent months. I don't know about you, but I can get protein shake powder for a lot less than $1.90 per serving!

I searched around and found a coupon for up to 40% off, plus $50 off your first order. $229.99 my first month ($2.05/meal), but back to $2.50 per meal after the first month.

Then I found 40% off (locked in), plus a free week of regular food in your first order. $254.99 for the order, which means $1.82 per meal to start, and $2.28 after that.

Plus, I found a friend who had this same $30 off coupon for my first order. Over the next two months, I should average $1.90 per meal. Not bad!

If you choose to use my $30 off coupon, I get rewards as well...so contact me! Benefits for both of us :).

Other tips:
Unless you LOVE the bars, oatmeal, and cereals, don't order them. You can get very similar bars in stores for much less, which will help stretch/flex your Nutrisystem orders. There are bars from 100 calories (Think Thin, Special K, etc), up to meal replacement bars that you can purchase for $0.69-$1.49 apiece, easily. Plenty of yummy cereals are very similar to the nutrisystem ones, just make sure you're only having one serving (I used measuring cups and snack size ziploc bags to separate out several servings when I first open a box). Prepackaged oatmeal is also often similar--make sure you're getting a low-sugar or "healthy" one. Spend the money on things like the muffins, bagels, cinnamon roll, etc. Those are harder to find at low cost in the lower calorie/high protein proportions that Nutrisystem provides.

Same rule applies to lunches. Go for the prepackaged hefty stuff--you can get microwave soups for pretty cheap! Also, lean pockets are great lunches, and usually $2-$3 for a 2-pack, still less than a Nutrisystem entree.

Here is how it begins--Days 1 and 2

First I bought the 5 day "sample" Nutrisystem kit at Wal-Mart.

It contained:

• 5 Breakfasts: A double chocolate muffin, a cinnamon streusel muffin, granola, a honey wheat bagel, and a peanut butter breakfast bar.
• 5 Lunches: A cup of chicken noodle soup, loaded mashed potatoes, rice and beans, and 2 lunch bars
• 5 dinners: lasagna with meat sauce, chicken alfredo, chicken pot pie, flatbread pizza, rotini and meatballs
• 5 desserts: cheesecake bar, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate covered pretzels, peppermint cookie patty, popcorn.

I also bought a few cans of 100 calorie soup (progresso brand), a few McDougall's cup o soups (low sodium pea soup), some smart ones meals (high protein, around 250 cal), some lean pockets, some store brand meal replacement/protein shakes, a couple of Luna brand protein bars and some store-brand organic oatmeal packets. I also had some wheat cereal that fit the nutrition requirements.

The plan is as follows:

• 8 cups of water (or water-like substance…unsweetened seltzer totally counts)
• Breakfast: One entrée (nutrisystem, oatmeal, cereal, or protein shake) with 1 fruit and 1 protein/dairy. Yesterday that was an oatmeal with a small smoothie ( ½c frozen strawberries, ½ small banana, and ½c fat free organic yogurt). I tend to separate these two into a breakfast and morning snack. Entrée with my coffee, and fruit/dairy midmorning. Today I did the same. NS chocolate muffin, 1/3c fat free cottage cheese with 1/2c unsweetened applesauce.
• Lunch: One entrée (cup of soup, nutrisystem, protein bar, lean pocket, etc), with a veggie and an extra protein/dairy. Yesterday that was a McDougall’s pea soup, salad with lean turkey deli meat and 2 Tb fat free dressing. Today it will be the NS loaded mashed potatoes, salad with tomatoes and turkey and 2Tb fat free dressing.
• Snack: One dairy/protein and one veggie/fruit. Yesterday I “cheated” and did 100 calories of special K cracker chips. Mostly because my plan of carrots/hummus was thwarted when I realized we had no hummus. Or carrots. We went shopping last night. I’m having carrots, tomatoes, and a small yellow pepper with 2Tb hummus today.
• Dinner: One entrée (Nutrisystem, smart ones, soup, etc) with 2 veggies, 1 fruit, and a fat option. Yesterday I had NS lasagna with meat sauce, a large mixed green salad with tomatoes (they’re a fruit, right?), 2 Tb of parmesan (split between lasagna and salad—my “dairy” from snack!), a slice of whole grain bread* toasted with garlic butter. I am probably making my own dinner tonight…entrees usually consist of “2” proteins and a carb serving, so I will have a turkey burger (equals the 2 proteins) with sweet potato oven fries (carb+fat), steamed broccoli and a salad.
• Dessert: one “entrée” about 100-150 calories. I had the NS chocolate covered pretzels last night. I may try the peppermint patty cookie tonight, or the chocolate chip cookies.

*because I have over/around 100lb to lose, I am “allowed” an extra carb and an extra protein per day. I may not always use it, but Italian food warrants garlic bread.

NS food reviews:

Chocolate muffin: ★★★★☆
The muffin was good, with a bit of an aftertaste. Probably from the added fiber and protein. But it was honestly no more than some “typical” highly processed chocolate muffins I’ve bought in the store. It was small, but about the size of a hostess cupcake, and fairly dense. This plus a cup of coffee satisfied me for an hour or so until I finished the dairy/fruit portion of breakfast (or snack ;) ). It gets a thumb’s up.




Loaded baked (mashed) potato: ★★★☆☆
This tastes like something I’ve had before…I just can’t put my finger on it. I added extra water so it was more like a thick potato soup, but make sure you stir it well before microwaving, right after microwaving, and before eating. I had some hard lumps on the bottom that were missed. The bacon was a little tough and was bitter when I could actually taste it, but the leeks were crunchy and I tasted the slight onion flavor. The potatoes themselves were well seasoned, with just a slight aftertaste (probably from the ‘butter flavor’ and highly processed cheese). I would eat them again, but they could use some changes. I would rather have a sour cream and chive flavor or broccoli cheddar flavor than the bacon. On the plus side…it was VERY filling. I’m typing this as I finished it, and looking at my salad thinking “how am I going to eat this?”

Lasagna with meat sauce: ★★★★☆
When you eat this, you will think of beef-a-roni. Now, for me, that is not a bad thing. The pasta is slightly gummy and will fall apart in some ways, but you still need the side of your fork to “cut” it. The flavor of the sauce is…well, like beef-a-roni or other canned pasta products. Which, I happen to like, but a bit of parmesan cheese was a noticeable improvement. When I first saw the package I thought “wow…this is frickin tiny…” even compared to frozen dinners like lean cuisine or smart ones. Once I opened it, however, I saw that there wasn’t a lot of air space like those dinners have, so it was probably a similar amount of food. And when I paired it with the salad and the garlic bread, and got through the cravings seeing my fiancée eating his still-slightly-warm fresh Italian bread with butter, I realized I was actually full.

Chocolate covered pretzels: ★★★★★
The biggest problem with these? There aren’t more! I’m normally a dark chocolate person, myself, but these were pretty good for milk chocolate. There were 7-8 of the little pretzels in there. Which was just enough to satisfy the sweet tooth after having such a salty dinner. No noticeable aftertaste, and a good balance of sweet to salty (some pretzels overdo the chocolate…I’m picky).

Those extra pounds...a 15 year history

When I was in high school, being fat sucked because I wasn't popular. I was picked on and treated poorly. I tried dieting, but didn't know how. By the end of high school, I was 5'6" and 215 pounds. A size 18.

In college, I started working out. I became vegetarian. I hung out with lots of people who were cool and didn't care about my body. Some were thin, some were fat. We were so different but so alike. We were all beautiful and told each other so. No matter how they've changed over the years, those friends are still strong and beautiful to me. I got healthy. Still overweight, but I could run. I played sports. I was strong. I played rugby and tennis. I went to the gym three times a week. I even worked there. I was about 195 pounds and a size 14. I lived on the 4th floor with no elevator, and I felt great.

Senior year rolled around. The stress and workload kept me from the gym, but I was still active. I gained weight, but not a ton. I still felt good. I was still healthy. Blood pressure, cholesterol, heart rate, all great. I could walk 2 miles no problem. I graduated and moved in with my girlfriend. Probably around 215, and a size 18 again.

Oh, the stress. I had a crappy job, living in a crappy situation, plus some relationship issues. Lots of drinking. Smoking. I'd say my weight went upwards of 250 then, and probably a size 22 (men's 40 pants). Eventually, I got a better job and my girlfriend and I moved.

By now I felt like crap again. A new job with lots of judgey people. I was the fat kid again. I was the unpopular one. My confidence was shot. And then I found out I had cancer. 4 months after being hired, I was out on leave for chemotherapy and radiation. At my worst, then, I was 135 pounds. No muscle, practically bedridden for months. Once I got up and moving again, eating normally and healthily, I was 145 pounds, a size 8-10. I was in HEAVEN! I felt amazing, and for the first time in years, I felt sexy again.

My confidence abounded. I loved hiking, biking, jogging with my dogs. I loved salads and lentil soup and green smoothies. These were not punishments or sacrifices, I loved them! Slowly my weight gained to 155-160 and I plateaued. This was where my body wanted to be. I am ACTUALLY big boned…I have broad shoulders, broad hips, wide wrists and knees. A size 10-12 was perfect for me. Plenty of muscle from 3+ mile hikes, able to run for half an hour on the treadmill, and I didn’t feel guilty eating some ice cream here or there because I was able to control myself to one serving. I didn’t notice that my period, which had always been very irregular, was often absent for months since the chemo.

Then I found out I was infertile. My wife and I went to the doctor’s to try and have a baby. After lots of tests and scans, they told me I had less than 1/10^th of a percent chance of getting pregnant. My absence of period added to the confirmation—Premature Ovarian Failure. I probably had PCOS before the chemotherapy (which seriously affects your ability to lose and maintain a healthy weight and is also related to diabetes which runs rampant in my genetics), but those drugs pretty much fried my ovaries and “cured” the disease. Which helped me keep the weight off, helped with unwanted body hair and all the other symptoms of PCOS, but also meant that my ovaries just weren’t working at all. But I was stubborn and we decided we would try anyway. I figured if there was no progress with hormone treatment to kickstart the ovaries, then my wife would try. She was healthy, it should be no problem for her.

The hormones brought my ovaries back to life. Somewhat. They also caused cravings, bloating, depression, not to mention the bruising along my stomach from the injections. Typically, someone on the doses I was getting would make 10-15 eggs or more per month. I made one. Maybe two. They increased doses, changed drugs, all to no avail. If I made one egg, we did an insemination. If I made two or more, we did IVF. We tried for months…and I gained weight for months.

20 pounds later, our marriage ended (unrelated to weight) and I moved out. I gained another 5 pounds or so from stress eating and drinking. I had stopped the fertility medications, but judging from other bodily changes, the PCOS was coming back (I see this in hindsight). I tried to keep working out and stay on the diet that had kept me healthy for years, but slowly kept increasing.

At 180 pounds or so, I met my current partner. I still felt fairly healthy, and we had a lot of fun doing so many different things. Unfortunately, a lot of our dates revolved around eating out, or cooking for each other. I also went on birth control—which has a side effect of, you guessed it, weight gain. I gained 15 pounds in 3 months. My aunt joked that I was now “fat and happy” with my new love. Unfortunately, I was not happy about the fat. I panicked as the scale inched closer to 200#. I had spent so much of my teen and young adult life well over that line, and cried every night as the scale inched closer and closer.

And then I got pregnant. 1/10^th of a percent chance happened just 4 months into this new relationship. There was a lot of stress, a lot of rough spots, but after 41 weeks, I birthed our beautiful, 9#8oz daughter in water at home with 3 midwives, her daddy, and my mom there. Over those 41 weeks, I gained 48 pounds.

A week after the birth, I stood on the scale. 225. I had lost about 20 pounds in a week (the first 10 was the hardest! Lol). My mom said “I was about 195 when I got pregnant with all three of you, and I lost all of it in 4 or 5 months, no matter how much I gained.” I was confident that with proper diet and exercise and breastfeeding, I could get back down to at least 175 within 6-8 months.

When my daughter was 2 months old, I stepped on the scale again and it read…oh, I don’t remember, but it was higher than 225. I had GAINED weight. How does anyone GAIN weight while breastfeeding and drinking green smoothies and having salads and eating generally healthy? I wasn’t depriving myself, but probably getting around 1800 calories a day.

A few months after that I stepped on the scale. 240 or so. OMG, I was almost as big as when I was fully pregnant! I made sure we always had healthy foods and tried again.

A few months later I saw 250. I’m sure I’ve been 250 before, but at that time, I didn’t own a scale. At that time, I was a heavy drinker who didn’t care about my weight. I had plenty of chunky friends who were awesome and I knew their weight didn’t matter to me, so my weight didn’t matter to them. Now, however, I wasn’t drinking. I did care. I was tired, sore, achy. I felt old. I couldn’t do the things I wanted to do. I got out of breath easily, and my workouts were getting harder instead of easier. So I went to the doctor. I told her what was going on, and she basically said “what do you want me to do about it?” The only thing I could think of at the time was to ask her to check my thyroid. The results came back. My TSH was normal, my T3 was low-normal, and my T4 was barely countable. Even though T4 is what the body needs from the thyroid, and is the drug that is given to treat hypothyroid, my doctor proclaimed my thyroid normal because my TSH was fine. I still have doubts.

So, for almost 2 years I have hovered around 250. I’m probably closer to 260 at this point. 100 pounds heavier than when I felt the best I have ever felt in my life. I could shed another PERSON off of me and be healthy. A small person…maybe a middle schooler…but another person nonetheless.

I’m not changing for my partner (although I miss feeling sexy and being able to do things that I can’t do right now…;) ). I’m not changing for society (I will never have a flat stomach and big boobs, not without multiple surgeries). Yes, I want to be able to shop in the “regular” section of the stores again. I don’t want to keep having to choose between a) 4 options for shirts I can afford or b) plenty of options of beautiful clothes I can’t afford.  I don’t want to be THIN…I will never be THIN. I want to be healthy. I will never fit into a size 4. Sure, I want my butt to look good in jeans. But I want it to look good because it works. Because it is strong and can lift a toddler in one arm and groceries in the other from a squatting position. I want to be able to race my kids around the yard. I want to be able to haul crap around our yard, to help replace fences, to pack up a truck for a yard sale with ease.

First day...

OK, here goes my first post!

I have no idea how this will go, but it is good to get a start. Sometimes I am a fairly good writer. I love writing. Sometimes my writing is fragmented and disconnected...that's just how I am. I also use a lot of ellipses and parentheses. This affected my college writing scores, but I'm hoping my professors aren't grading my blog. Hopefully as I do this more often, things will get better! Bear with me please :).

My name is Kate. I'm 31 years old, mom to an active two year old, a Pit Bull, and a cat, and step mom to a pretty darn cool 4 year old. Oh, and did I mention engaged to my partner? I'm messy, ADD, and often depressed/codependent/something, and kindof a cheapskate. Some posts may be about all of that too :).

Most of my life I've been "the fat girl." Sometimes I was OK with it, sometimes I wasn't. Right now I'm not. I'm tired, I snore, I'm sick more than I'd like. I want to take my kids for hikes and play on the playground but I'm too lazy and tired. So it needs to change. I remember being healthy and active before my daughter was born. It was awesome to go to the gym and be ABLE to jog for 20 minutes or more. Not fast, but I could do it. I could find clothes in my size in almost any store and didn't have to hunt around or pay 3x as much. I didn't feel laughed at or ridiculed in public.

It has been a long and windy road to get here (see my next post!) but the current situation is that I'm 5'6" tall and 255 pounds, last I checked. Size 22-ish, with hips over 50".

So, I'm looking into weight loss surgery.

Before I take that huge step, though, I decided to try nutrisystem. A modified/cheaper version of nutrisystem. Basically, I have the nutrisystem food and program, then I buy similar foods at the grocery store for less than nutrisystem would charge (following similar nutritional guidelines). Doing this, I can spend around $350 for 2 months of food, with coupons for nutrisystem and sale items at the store.

 

I will post more about the specific foods in a bit. If you’re interested in Nutrisystem and want to see what it looks like, and my honest reviews, keep checking here. I will do as much as I can remember J. My plan is to purchase two months of nutrisystem food, doing the diet for 4 months. As time goes on, I can really work on incorporating more regular food into the diet and will post recipes that work with the program if they come out well. If I continue to lose, then perhaps weight loss surgery isn't right for me. If I plateau on this diet, if all else fails, then I will have to continue my pursuit of the medical option.

I will also be posting weekly weights and measurements and monthly photos. When I get a new scale (dog peed on it) and measuring tape (I had four...where did they all go?!?).